You Know You’re a Slow Swimmer When…

photo:  Jeff Cable (

photo: Jeff Cable (

As triathletes, we swim.  Some of us swim really well.  Some not so well.  Enter any triathlon and you’ll see people who are seemingly as fast as Michael Phelps.  That said, you’re just about as likely to find someone who can make a dog paddle look fast.

So today, direct from the home office in Whitefish, MT, here are the top 10 ways that you know you’re a slow swimmer:

10.  The aqua joggers are faster than you are.

9.  The lifeguard watches you, and only you, like a hawk.

8.  A baby crawling on the pool deck covers 25 yards faster than you do when crawling in the water.

7.  You spend so much time in the pool that the pool boy doesn’t need to add chlorine to shock the pool; he just tells you to get back in.

6.  Instead of having a low strokes-per-length count, you have a low lengths-per-hour count.

5.  Your partner can read the entirety of War and Peace while you do a 2000 yard workout.

4.  Instead of gentle taps on your foot, the swimmer behind you gives you a full foot massage.

3.   The six year old newbie on the swim team laps you.

2.  When you finish your 250 yard interval, your lane mates pity clap for you.

And the number one way you can tell that you’re a slow swimmer:

When your 12 year old daughter beats you in a 25 yard freestyle race….and you’re wearing fins!  (which may, or may not, have actually happened to me last night)

🙂  Happy swimming, y’all.  I’m off to the pool to try and get faster now.  I’ve got a 12 year old to beat.


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