The Ultimate Question

Yesterday afternoon, my teammate Lauren sent out a link to a really funny blog post that proved to be the creative genesis for this post.

The post that Lauren linked to was on the Runner’s World site, and was called “Why are Runners…”  The entire crux of the post was about the funny responses that Google (and who doesn’t use Google) loads via their auto-fill process when the search string was “Why are Runners…”  The results of what Google thinks (or I guess what people who search Google think) the remainder of that search string should be are really quite funny.

The post caused me to take the same approach and start some Google searches based on triathlon and triathlon-related activities.

So….step one:  I pulled up my trusty Internet Explorer, traveled to Google’s site and then entered “Why do triathletes…” And here’s what I got:

Sort of interesting that two of the top three searches relate to shaving.  You know, this doesn’t really surprise me all that much I guess.  If you do a quick search on the Beginner Triathlete or Slowtwitch web forums, you’ll find countless threads about shaving.  How often should I shave?  How far up my leg should I shave?  Should I shave “everything”?  Do women like guys who shave?  And so on.

When I first saw the “dip” search – my first reaction was, “What?  Triathletes use tobacco products?”  And then I saw that the search string had flipped from Triathletes to Athletes.  I guess some triathletes might dip, but I can’t imagine why.

I then launched a search “why do triathletes c”.  The results are below:

After that, I decided to step back a little and ask a really elemental question…”What is triathlon”

Certainly an interesting (but not funny) list of searches.  Quite honestly, I’d never heard of a triathlon domestique before.  The term relates to ITU or Olympic racing.  In London, for example, some athletes from countries had the role of domestique in the sense that we see domestiques in the Tour de France.  Their job was to help the main medal contender for the team by helping him/her draft, play the role of rabbit, etc.

After searching for triathlon-related topics, and finding a general lack of funny searches, I decided to break down the searches into each of the specific triathlon disciplines.  Hopefully that way, I’d find some nuggets of humor.

First up…swim.  I started my search with “why do swimmers”


Again, more searches about shaving.  What is it with people’s fascination with body hair or lack thereof?  The whole two cap topic is pretty timely – especially after we all saw Phelps, Lochte, Franklin, et al, in the Olympics literally always wearing two caps.  The answer, for some of those athletes, lies in the type of cap “system” they were wearing.  Many of the athletes wore the new Speedo Fastskin system that uses an under cap and an upper cap to create a really smooth lay over the goggles, etc.

Then, I pulled up “Why do cyclists”…

Ugh.  Shaving again.

At least we got some funny searches.  “Why do cyclists have skinny arms?”  That’s totally awesome!  “Why do cyclists ride on the road?”  Um…..isn’t that a little obvious?  Nose plugs?  Am I missing something?  I’ve never seen a cyclist wear nose-plugs.

And finally, running.  This is one of the same searches that was done and shared in the original Runner’s World post (linked above).  “Why do runners…”

JACKPOT!  Finally some funny searches!  “Why do runners poop themselves?”  Classic.  (of course, this post certainly applies to triathletes – remember “Poop Man” from IM Florida from last year or the year before?)  Bleeding nipples?  Don’t want to even think about that.  And I’m totally skipping the shaving question.  Geez….are we a world of Chewbaccas or something?

What funny searches (or search results) have you done?  And please don’t say that you searched for anything relating to body hair!