Sunday started out as any nice Father’s Day should. Coffee and newspaper in bed. Breakfast made for me. Showers of love from my children. All was well in the world.
After church, my wife suggested that I go for a long bike ride. This is noteworthy in and of itself because she never, never, proactively suggests that I go out on the bike. To make matters that much the better, the weather was beautiful. Low 80’s, no humidity to speak of (which is a gift this time of year in Florida), and no winds. True “Chamber of Commerce” weather.
And so I went.
The ride was proceeding quite smoothly. I had blown by a couple of dudes out for their Father’s Day ride. I was feeling quick and steady.
Then it happened.
I saw it happen as if it were in slow motion.
A black dot growing larger and larger. Then, THWACK!
It sounded like a shotgun. An explosion of sound rang in my head as this massive bug smacked into my helmet. I thought nothing of it at first. I figured that he had hit my helmet and either bounced off or died upon impact and I’d pick him off my lid later.
Then the searing pain hit. Not once, but twice.
Whatever this creature was, it had bit me (or stung me) twice. On the head.
Oh. My. God! That H U R T!!!!!!!!!
I pulled over and stopped, almost launching myself to the ground. I yanked off my helmet and started rubbing my head. I poured water over my head to ease the pain. My eyes watered. My head throbbed.
After a couple of minutes the pain started to subdue. I finally put my helmet back on and finished my ride home.
I’ve been stung before whilst riding my bike, but never had it hurt quite so bad. I still have a lump and sore spot on my head. To make matters worse, I totally nailed it this morning when I was brushing my hair.
At least it wasn’t a real bullet; it just felt like one.