Disclosure: The producers of TriMadness strongly discourage the behavior described below. Do not attempt this at home. The producers neither condone nor support the after-effects of said activities. The risk is yours. Be afraid. Very afraid.
“Feel the burn!”
It’s an all-too familar refrain in the gym. Muscle-bound weighlifters shout it at each other. Football players think it as they run suicides. Triathletes feel it after sitting on their bike for too long without some sort of anti-chafe balm.
TriMadness experienced something reminiscent of the photo above last night after having completed…….a swim workout!
Paint the picture: Last night’s workout consisted of 3500 yards with an emphasis on focusing on arm-work. Namely my catch and pull. The workout went really well. Hit most of my intervals, kept my heart rate in check, felt good about my stroke. All was great in the world.
I had a social engagement following my swim workout, so I proceeded home, took the requisite shower and started getting dressed. And then came the most painful thing I have experienced in years.
I put on deodorant.
And then someone apparently held a blow torch underneath my armpits. For an hour.
Immediately upon spreading a little Old Spice Swagger, I screamed like a little girl, started hopping up and down, waved my arms as if I were trying to take flight, and looked for something cool to place under there to knock down the burn. Five minutes later I sat as a crumpled sobbing mess of zero-manliness on my bathroom floor.
Who the heck knows why my armpits were so dang irritated. But it wasn’t fun.
Next time I swim, I’m applying Tri-Glide to my pits beforehand. And then placing a fire extinguisher in my bathroom just in case.