Dain Bramage

So every now and then I do something so idiotic, I amaze myself.   Take, for example, when I did this. 

Well, I topped that on Sunday afternoon.

I spent most of the weekend down in Orlando at a soccer tournament for my youngest daughter.  When we got back into Jax on Sunday afternoon, the first thing we did after we unpacked the car was hop in the pool to cool off.

Things at the TriMadness household tend to get a little competitive sometimes.  Or….perhaps I’m just the competitive one. 

My daughter wanted to swim laps and “race” dad.  Our pool is about 40 feet long, so roughly 12 yards.  We first raced freestyle, and of course, I did what all good dads do.  I destroyed my daughter!  She wanted a re-match, so this time I gave her a little head start, and she ultimately held me off for a victory.  She then wanted to race breaststroke.  We did that – and even though I took it easy, I still really wanted to win.  This time I didn’t.

Then disaster struck.

She wanted to race me in butterfly.

I don’t swim butterfly.  Technically, I can swim fly.  I just look like a drowning rodent when I do.  And yet, I agreed.  12 yards of fly.  For the backyard pool championship.  Winner take all.

Now is an appropriate time to mention that I was not wearing goggles.  And, oh yeah, the chlorine in our pool really bothers my eyes.  So I swim with my eyes closed.

You probably know where this is heading.

I call out the “on your mark”, “go!”  We’re off.  Little TM is doing her best Michael Phelps impersonation.  Me?  I look like I’m about to drown.  After 3 pulls, she’s got a lead on me.  Remember, I’m competitive.  I turn it up a notch.

2 more pulls.  Feeling good.  I’m actually feeling a rhythm.

I go for the 3rd pull.  And WHAMMO!

Mr. Nose.  Meet Mr. Concrete. 

I literally thought I broke my nose.  I didn’t.  I did cut up my nose pretty good and have a nice bruise on the bridge of my nose and on my eyebrows.

Only I could run into a pool wall not once, but TWICE in the same swim season.  I must have a few screws missing.

The best thing?  After Little TM realized I wasn’t really hurt, she started cracking up!  “I saw your nose smash into the side of the pool!  It was funny looking!”  Nice.  My 9 year old bustin’ on me.

I probably deserved it.

Oh yeah.  You could probably figure this out.  Since she saw me hit the wall, that means she was done before me.  She won the backyard swim championship.  Busted nose, and no trophy.  I’m a winner.